37: Finding purpose after a molar pregnancy & loss of a parent. Marianna Sasche of “Jackalo” Clothing
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How many of you mamas have experienced something taboo like a miscarriage or loss of any kind, and felt that you couldn’t speak about it, or didn’t know who to turn to for support? I can certainly attest to feeling silenced and isolated when it came to my own miscarriage experience, because it had never been spoken about to me, or talked about in society. In fact, I had no idea just how common miscarriage really was. Whether common or not, our grief is still is as acute, and having a community of moms to listen to our stories and life each other up, can make or break our experiences.
Todays guest, Marianna Saxi is a mama who not only experienced a miscarriage, but experienced an invasive molar pregnancy which quickly turned very serious. Having been overlooked by the doctor’s at first, her molar pregnancy quickly metastasized and she ended up having to go in for nine months of life saving chemotherapy treatments. To add insult to injury, her mom had just been given a dire cancer diagnosis.
Through her emotional struggle with health, self knowing and the bottomless grief of losing her mom, she came to the realization that she only had one life, and that she wanted to pursue her dreams of being a creative entrepreneur.
Having spent nearly two decades working with prestigious organizations like the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, Whitman Walker Clinic, the Aspen Institute, and more, Marianna has a long track record of working towards the public good.
She knew from a young age, that she loved making things-whether it be sewing or knitting clothes for friends and family, cooking, or gardening. As an adult she just didn’t realize starting a creative business was a possibility. When her life took the climactic turn, she decided to go towards her dreams.
After having children, she grew disappointed in the quality of children’s clothes, and in particular the lack of sustainable, ethical options that actually held up over time. Through her company, Jackalo, Marianna
combines her desire to improve the world with her love of making and creative production. Today Marianna is going to share with our Soul Mamma listeners about why they should never stifle their dreams, how to deal with grief or loss, and why sharing our stories are so important.
05:54] The moment she found out her miscarriage was really a molar pregnancy (which is much more serious).
[08:07] Molar pregnancies can cause tumors, which is what happened to Marianna. She ended up needing nine months of chemotherapy in order to pass both the tumor.
[12:46] Marianna decided to speak out to her doctor and explain how she had felt dismissed by the whole experience.
[16:07] When her oldest son was nine months old, right before her molar pregnancy, Marianna’s mother was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer.
[18:12] There was a point in Marianna’s life where she realized she had to follow her creative passions in order to live life to the fullest. This is why she started her own company “Jackalo”.
[19:42] There was an interesting “turn around” in Marianna’s life, when her mom was in her last days, where she realized she wanted her to pursue her creative passions and not stifle herself.
[21:46] Marianna references the book “Playing Big” by Tara Mohr when speaking of our inner critics that are formed by society, family, and by self imposed expectations of ourselves.”
[27:26] Right when we are about to make a big or substantial change in our lives we often feel fear. Marianna believes that fear leads to our growth.
“Overall I feel like there’s a really big problem with doctors dismissing the pain of women and in particular dismissing the impact of pregnancy in general on on women.”
“I was in a wonderful job but it wasn’t meeting my needs as far as being creative, and I felt a lot of fear about pursuing a more creative life.”
“We are so hard on ourselves and that critic really stops us from living our lives as fully as we should.”
“You’re on the precipice of something big, you’re making a huge change and that’s exciting. That can help you move forward.”
Connect with Marianna:
“Playing Big” by Tara Mohr