Episode 17: From surviving to thriving, one mother’s journey from loss to renewal-interview with midwife Nikole Paulos.
Episode Description
One of a mother’s biggest fears- losing the father of their kids tragically when their children are little. This is what courageous soul mamma and midwife Nikole Paulos was faced just four short years ago. After her husband fell suddenly ill from a blood infection, he went into a coma and never came out.
“After 3 weeks in a coma, unfortunately he did pass away, so I ended up going through everything that comes with losing your partner and the father of your children. Soon thereafter we were told that we actually had to vacate the property that we’d been living on, and so the kids and I, about two weeks later we’re told that we had to move.”
Her story is one that moves from paralyzing fear and survival to aligning with her passion and thriving. It hasn’t been an easy journey and her and her kids still deal with the grief associated with such loss, but they have also been embraced and protected along the way. Nikole shares with our listeners the synchronicity of following her inner truth back to midwifery even though it wasn’t the most “practical” decision at the time and how all doors began to open when she made room for her truest desires.
She emphasizes the importance of self-care and community as mothers as well as allowing ourselves to be vulnerable to actually allow others to hold and help us along the way. Whether we have dealt with grief of this nature, or just the daily trials and tribulations that go along with mama-hood, Nikole really inspires us to not stray from our passions.
As a seasoned midwife and mother of two babies birthed at home, Nikole gives listeners great advice about postpartum care, particularly after traumatic births. She suggests organizations for mothers such as PEP and Mamatoto in Southern California for mothers to bond and share stories with other mom’s, whether they birthed at a hospital or not.
Episode Take-aways
0:102: Nikole reflects on on being a “Soul Mamma” and how that idea really resonates with her at this point in her life.
3:33: Finding her way back to midwifery after her husband died was NOT easy, yet it took her from merely “surviving” to “thriving” again.
0:438: For Nikole, success was a scary prospect, yet she decided to go for it anyway.
09:35: Nikole discusses how she survived the immense grief that accompanied such tragic loss and how kids can become our greatest teachers.
11:42: Nikole now teaches about grief and loss to other mamas who are in the middle of it. If you have lost a partner or are experiencing grief, it is so important to reach out for help.
15:22: Moms often feel they must always appear “strong”, but being vulnerable actually allows love to come into your life. Nikole experienced this first hand with the community that banded together to support her.
16:28: Nikole is proud to have gotten as far as she has, and having gratitude for making it through it.
30:27: The more self-care a mom provides for herself the better mom she will be and how our kids know that acutely.
33:09: As a midwife and healer, Nikole gives our listeners different modalities and recommendations towards thriving