Episode 51: Why you are not alone if you’ve had a stillbirth, miscarriage or loss of a child, with Amy Fritz-organizational coach
Episode Description
Multiple miscarriages, infertility, loss, stillbirth, & the loss of a child. These are truly some of a mother’s worst fears, even though they are more common then we think. Even more, they are quite challenging to talk about, to say the least. Because it is often difficult to know how to reach out to people going through tragic loss, moms who are going through it can be left feeling isolated and disconnected in their grief.
Today’s guest, Amy Fritz, organizational coach and mommy, is going to share about the loss of her two twin boys ( after a twin to twin transfusion diagnosis) at 6.5 months and how that abruptly changed the trajectory of her life. Today she bravely and candidly shares about the grief process of losing two babies, one who survived a day postpartum, and how that significantly affected her marriage and career. In fact, this experience led her into entirely new directions in her life she never would have previously imagined.
As a mother of a ten year old, “Asher”, she wants moms to know that there is life beyond loss, as horrible and unimaginable as it is. Now she can be found traveling to places like Sri Lanka and the Maldives and can be found skateboarding with her son in Santa Barbara where she lives and works.
One of the major forks in the road in her life was when decided to leave a longtime job as public school special eduction teacher of 15 years to pursue her real passion for organizational coaching. Now she helps individuals and businesses looking to gain a more minimalist approach in their life to organize their residential and business spaces.
It is mamas like Amy that truly help moms going through loss to realize that not only are they not alone, but there are entire communities of women out their to lift them up. The grief never goes away, but it can certainly get better.
Take-Aways:
(08:12)
If miscarriage is so common, why aren’t we being versed in it as mamas or talking about it more? Neither Amy or I, felt like we knew what to expect when we miscarried at home.
(13:53)
Amy reflects on the moment she was diagnosed with twin to twin transfusion which means one baby had too much fluid and the other had none.
(14:48)
A moment of foreshadowing around 6 months into her pregnancy when she knew things were really wrong.
(19:00)
The heart wrenching decision Amy and her, then, husband had to make in regards to not resuscitating their twins when they were born under a pound.
(20:40)
Amy recalls the stages of grief, starting with complete shock.
(25:43)
Amy recalls not being properly debriefed on the facts about postpartum depression and anxiety and that she would likely get it after such a traumatic experience.
(30:50)
Shame was a big emotion Amy experienced after the loss of her twins, the demise of her relationship with her husband, and when she was feeling postpartum depression.
(35:04)
Amy reflects on not feeling “all in” about teaching after the loss of her twins, and making the scary life decision to quit her career and face naysayers when she didn’t even have a backup plan.
Memorable Quotes:
“I knew I needed to come up with a way to teach them writing. And so I did that and I never really wrote any of my lessons down for like the first four or five years.”
“And that’s when everyone started calling and saying, where are those lessons used to give out? We need them, we want to buy them. So it was really a transition that was unexpected.”
“When I started this business. . .They (my family) just kind of looked at me-not that they weren’t supportive, it was just out of the blue.”
“And so I’ve always been in this juggle with motherhood and trying to run a business... it is still a major juggle every single day, but it can be done.”
“When I first learned to say ‘NO’ , I was like, wow, that was empowering!”
So for awhile I was like, I’ll just do this on the side. That way. If it doesn’t work out, I still have a job, but then it slowly started to grow, and finally I was able to prove it to myself.