50: Why to learn to say “NO” & create boundaries as mamas. With Sonnet Simmons Matthews and Veronica Morales Frieling
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Learning to create boundaries as moms is one thing that comes up a lot on this show, and for good reason. Whether it be learning to say “no” to the things that are draining us, or to let go of relationships that aren’t serving us. With the time, energy and ultimate focus that motherhood requires we have to be really careful not to spread ourselves too thin or to say yes to the things that are really out of alignment with our soul. Today’s guests believe that we have to learn to say “no” in order to live our greatest “YES’s” and I could not agree more.
Sonnet Simmons Matthews and Veronica Morales Frieling are friends and podcasts hosts who are also “at home mommies” who believe in being present for their families as well as living purpose filled lives. Because nuancing these roles aren’t always easy, they decided to create a podcast about it.
Their new podcast is called “Not Your Mothers Podcast” and they interview experts in many of the hot topics that come up in motherhood. They believe in speaking our truths and having the authenticity to voice our “unsaids.”
Sonnet is a mommy to baby Cairo and has a background in music (you may have heard her work on ABC’s Rising Star); as a songwriter, singer, music licensor and vocal coach in Los Angeles. She has recently been negotiating the shifts identity that come along with mommy hood, and shares about them on her show, and with our community today.
Veronica is a digital marketing service provider and has nuanced her career so that she can work from home with her baby in tow. Veronica is fueled by youth entrepreneurship since producing the documentary Tomorrow’s Roundtable.
Sonnet and Veronica believe that sharing our stories, wisdom and insights as a community is of the utmost importance. And the beauty of having mommy podcasters on the show is merging like-minded ideas to a broader audience, so none of us have to feel alone in our motherhood journeys!
From fiercely independent to motherhood isn’t always an easy transition to make. Veronica recalls having to make many identity shifts as a new mama already.
Sonnet reflects on how learning to slow down and be present can be a big challenge and shift of pace as mamas.
Mom guilt. We all experience it. It’s almost as if we don’t give ourselves permission to enjoy our time “off” in fear that we should be doing something for others.
Reflecting on the “mom mental load” and how they talk about it a lot on their show.
When you love what you do, work can actually feel like self care.
How having conversations with other mamas is therapeutic.
Reach out to mom friends. It’s so important.
“Motherhood community was really helpful for us in creating boundaries for ourselves”-Veronica
“We don’t necessarily have to be just this one thing that we’ve associated ourselves with for so long. Motherhood helps us to be adaptable.” -Veronica
” Yeah I learned so much from moms that are dissimilar to me really, and that’s what I love about the podcasting platform.” -Sonnet
“We want to be our best and we want to do our best and we also want to have careers and be productive. And so how can we do that while saying ‘no’ to the right things that don’t serve our long term?”-Sonnet
“What being a soul mamma means to me: showing up for your child and the places in your psyche where the holes are, where you have had limiting beliefs, and really working through those to be the most whole wonderful person.”-Veronica
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