63: The pressure to DO, BE and GIVE everything as moms. With Leather Bag designer and mom Emily Da Foe
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Let’s face it, there is so much pressure on mamas to DO, BE, and FACILITATE everything. Getting back to our “real” job or accomplishing external goals often receives more accolades than staying at home and snuggling our babies.
It takes a lot of internal moderation to make sure we stay aligned to our truth and pay attention to if our candle is about to burn out.
Today’s guest and creative entrepreneur mama, who started sewing at age 6, Emily Da Foe, knows just how challenging it is to always stay present as a mama and business owner.
This is why her and her two mompreneur friends recently launched her platform Present Day Moms that offers a perspective from a “far from perfect mother” point of view, who is navigating the waters of running businesses and a home!
As a business owner/entrepreneur at heart who creates luxurious handmade leather bags literally with her own two hands, Emily is constantly coming up with new and creative ideas.
She is the first to admit that there is too much pressure, internal and external on mamas, and striving to do and be everything we were prior to our children is just a recipe for burn out. She also recalls how returning to her “real job” and putting self care last, was more highly touted in the society around her than staying at home and being with her young son.
Emily is a country girl at heart, who loves working with her hands, riding horses, and hanging with her family and dog Milo. She is originally from Jackson Hole Wyoming, but resides in beautiful Santa Ynez California with her winemaker husband.
Today she is going to talk to us about: strategies she uses for self care (and how they aren’t always fool proof), the importance of creating schedules and lists, staying true to herself and her life practices and teaching her son that we work hard for what we want, and sacrifice when we need to.
Getting married and having a baby later in life and what she felt she knew about herself and what she learned when she became a mom.
The challenges of always being a “YES” person.
Learning to create boundaries after she experienced burn out postpartum.
And not one person was like, you need to go and just snuggle your baby and enjoy a maternity leave. And it was insane to me. Like, yeah, I bounce back.
Why we’re destined to feel mom guilt no matter what we do.
I think you can reinvent yourself as many times over as you want to.
I think being a sole mama for me is just living my authentic self and being honest with myself about how I am as a mother, who I am as a human, just trying to be the best person I can be.
“But because I am so business focused, which is a positive and a negative, I had to really set my limits.”
“It’s like whatever is happening can wait until the next day. I’m not a doctor, I’m not saving lives. I am a person who has a family who is more important than my jobs. That said, it has taken me a great deal of time to get to that place.”
“The advice I would give would be to slow down because as you know, infancy goes by in the blink of an eye and those little moments where you’re cuddling up with your kiddo-enjoy them. No matter how small they may be.”
“So that would be something I would tell my mom self- slow down and enjoy and don’t try and work too hard because it doesn’t make a difference in the long run.”
“If I have another child, I will not do it again. I will take a full maternity leave and everybody can just peace out.”
“It’s okay to turn the TV off. It’s okay to be off Instagram. It’s okay to log off Facebook like none of that’s that big of a deal. Do it when you need to do it on the time that you’re not with your kids.”
“I think you can reinvent yourself as many times over as you want to.”
“I think being a soul mamma for me is just living my authentic self and being honest with myself about how I am as a mother, who I am as a human, just trying to be the best person I can be.”
Connect with Emily:
Instagram: @ER Leather Goods
Facebook: ER Leather Goods
Website: https://erleathergoods.com, https://www.presentdaymoms.com/honest-talk/daily-rituals